If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?
Radically inquisitive composers and mutual souls more eaze & claire rousay beg answers to the eternal question and explore experiences of gender transition in their 2020 salvo with Warsaw’s Mondoj - finally available on vinyl.
Nestled amid the likes of Piotr Kurek and Antonina Nowacka on the boutique label, ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ is a definitive collaboration between two artists who’ve helped shift and rejig perceptions of small-sound concrète, hyperpop and ambient paradigms over the past half decade. Hailing from 100km away from each other in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, the pair pull from myriad disciplines to express their sense of queerness, human physicality, and self-perception with endlessly fascinating results that can be said to short-circuit distinctions of generic boundary and social construct.
Since this release was issued, they’ve both amassed armfuls of new gear in collaboration and solo, with multiple international tours that have become notorious for their audience participation and bending the conventions of live performance. ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ now acts as a sort of refresher and statement of intent for their current paths, firstly dissolving synthesis with field recordings and processed vocals in the groggy and unpredictable collage of ‘Drunk’, which betrays a filigree and sober craft at work under the hood in its transitions between, and juxtapositions of, oblique sources and themes in a way that recalls E+E encountering The Humble Bee.
The other two parts speak to their process of becoming themselves, as mari explains “to me this record is very much about this process of becoming—trying to reach something and getting there but sometimes not being quite where you want to be but at least getting closer. It’s about feeling alternately empowered and insecure socially as you transition and trying to cope with these conflicting emotions.” Ambiguity, ephemerality and a sense of unresolvedness are key to both ‘Pre-op’ and ‘Post-op’, where fragments of popping intersect domestic rustle, quiet/loud concrète, and floating ambient structures that will mean different things to everyone, but ultimately enchant.
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Radically inquisitive composers and mutual souls more eaze & claire rousay beg answers to the eternal question and explore experiences of gender transition in their 2020 salvo with Warsaw’s Mondoj - finally available on vinyl.
Nestled amid the likes of Piotr Kurek and Antonina Nowacka on the boutique label, ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ is a definitive collaboration between two artists who’ve helped shift and rejig perceptions of small-sound concrète, hyperpop and ambient paradigms over the past half decade. Hailing from 100km away from each other in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, the pair pull from myriad disciplines to express their sense of queerness, human physicality, and self-perception with endlessly fascinating results that can be said to short-circuit distinctions of generic boundary and social construct.
Since this release was issued, they’ve both amassed armfuls of new gear in collaboration and solo, with multiple international tours that have become notorious for their audience participation and bending the conventions of live performance. ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ now acts as a sort of refresher and statement of intent for their current paths, firstly dissolving synthesis with field recordings and processed vocals in the groggy and unpredictable collage of ‘Drunk’, which betrays a filigree and sober craft at work under the hood in its transitions between, and juxtapositions of, oblique sources and themes in a way that recalls E+E encountering The Humble Bee.
The other two parts speak to their process of becoming themselves, as mari explains “to me this record is very much about this process of becoming—trying to reach something and getting there but sometimes not being quite where you want to be but at least getting closer. It’s about feeling alternately empowered and insecure socially as you transition and trying to cope with these conflicting emotions.” Ambiguity, ephemerality and a sense of unresolvedness are key to both ‘Pre-op’ and ‘Post-op’, where fragments of popping intersect domestic rustle, quiet/loud concrète, and floating ambient structures that will mean different things to everyone, but ultimately enchant.
Radically inquisitive composers and mutual souls more eaze & claire rousay beg answers to the eternal question and explore experiences of gender transition in their 2020 salvo with Warsaw’s Mondoj - finally available on vinyl.
Nestled amid the likes of Piotr Kurek and Antonina Nowacka on the boutique label, ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ is a definitive collaboration between two artists who’ve helped shift and rejig perceptions of small-sound concrète, hyperpop and ambient paradigms over the past half decade. Hailing from 100km away from each other in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, the pair pull from myriad disciplines to express their sense of queerness, human physicality, and self-perception with endlessly fascinating results that can be said to short-circuit distinctions of generic boundary and social construct.
Since this release was issued, they’ve both amassed armfuls of new gear in collaboration and solo, with multiple international tours that have become notorious for their audience participation and bending the conventions of live performance. ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ now acts as a sort of refresher and statement of intent for their current paths, firstly dissolving synthesis with field recordings and processed vocals in the groggy and unpredictable collage of ‘Drunk’, which betrays a filigree and sober craft at work under the hood in its transitions between, and juxtapositions of, oblique sources and themes in a way that recalls E+E encountering The Humble Bee.
The other two parts speak to their process of becoming themselves, as mari explains “to me this record is very much about this process of becoming—trying to reach something and getting there but sometimes not being quite where you want to be but at least getting closer. It’s about feeling alternately empowered and insecure socially as you transition and trying to cope with these conflicting emotions.” Ambiguity, ephemerality and a sense of unresolvedness are key to both ‘Pre-op’ and ‘Post-op’, where fragments of popping intersect domestic rustle, quiet/loud concrète, and floating ambient structures that will mean different things to everyone, but ultimately enchant.
Radically inquisitive composers and mutual souls more eaze & claire rousay beg answers to the eternal question and explore experiences of gender transition in their 2020 salvo with Warsaw’s Mondoj - finally available on vinyl.
Nestled amid the likes of Piotr Kurek and Antonina Nowacka on the boutique label, ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ is a definitive collaboration between two artists who’ve helped shift and rejig perceptions of small-sound concrète, hyperpop and ambient paradigms over the past half decade. Hailing from 100km away from each other in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, the pair pull from myriad disciplines to express their sense of queerness, human physicality, and self-perception with endlessly fascinating results that can be said to short-circuit distinctions of generic boundary and social construct.
Since this release was issued, they’ve both amassed armfuls of new gear in collaboration and solo, with multiple international tours that have become notorious for their audience participation and bending the conventions of live performance. ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ now acts as a sort of refresher and statement of intent for their current paths, firstly dissolving synthesis with field recordings and processed vocals in the groggy and unpredictable collage of ‘Drunk’, which betrays a filigree and sober craft at work under the hood in its transitions between, and juxtapositions of, oblique sources and themes in a way that recalls E+E encountering The Humble Bee.
The other two parts speak to their process of becoming themselves, as mari explains “to me this record is very much about this process of becoming—trying to reach something and getting there but sometimes not being quite where you want to be but at least getting closer. It’s about feeling alternately empowered and insecure socially as you transition and trying to cope with these conflicting emotions.” Ambiguity, ephemerality and a sense of unresolvedness are key to both ‘Pre-op’ and ‘Post-op’, where fragments of popping intersect domestic rustle, quiet/loud concrète, and floating ambient structures that will mean different things to everyone, but ultimately enchant.
Limited edition white coloured vinyl.
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Radically inquisitive composers and mutual souls more eaze & claire rousay beg answers to the eternal question and explore experiences of gender transition in their 2020 salvo with Warsaw’s Mondoj - finally available on vinyl.
Nestled amid the likes of Piotr Kurek and Antonina Nowacka on the boutique label, ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ is a definitive collaboration between two artists who’ve helped shift and rejig perceptions of small-sound concrète, hyperpop and ambient paradigms over the past half decade. Hailing from 100km away from each other in San Antonio and Austin, Texas, the pair pull from myriad disciplines to express their sense of queerness, human physicality, and self-perception with endlessly fascinating results that can be said to short-circuit distinctions of generic boundary and social construct.
Since this release was issued, they’ve both amassed armfuls of new gear in collaboration and solo, with multiple international tours that have become notorious for their audience participation and bending the conventions of live performance. ‘If I Don't Let Myself Be Happy Now Then When?’ now acts as a sort of refresher and statement of intent for their current paths, firstly dissolving synthesis with field recordings and processed vocals in the groggy and unpredictable collage of ‘Drunk’, which betrays a filigree and sober craft at work under the hood in its transitions between, and juxtapositions of, oblique sources and themes in a way that recalls E+E encountering The Humble Bee.
The other two parts speak to their process of becoming themselves, as mari explains “to me this record is very much about this process of becoming—trying to reach something and getting there but sometimes not being quite where you want to be but at least getting closer. It’s about feeling alternately empowered and insecure socially as you transition and trying to cope with these conflicting emotions.” Ambiguity, ephemerality and a sense of unresolvedness are key to both ‘Pre-op’ and ‘Post-op’, where fragments of popping intersect domestic rustle, quiet/loud concrète, and floating ambient structures that will mean different things to everyone, but ultimately enchant.